Old Indian aunties! We avoid them like the plague. Especially if you’re young and single. But we still love them. Why? Because we become them. They’ve been churned out the same way for years. You can’t avoid them and you can’t avoid becoming one of them. It’s inevitable.
It all starts once you hit your 20s. If you’re still single, you become something of a worry for every other old Indian aunty in the family, neighbourhood, community and town. People you don’t know, know about you. People you’ve never met are trying to fix your marriage. People you haven’t seen before know everything about you. They make your life a cv and parrot it to every mother of a so called nice boy looking for a nice daughter-in-law.
The moment you hit high school, they start to prepare you for marriage. Consciously or unconsciously, it happens when you enter high school.
I mean, which other mother in the world, teaches you how to cook at the age of 12 telling you that if you don’t learn, your in-laws would tell you that your parents never taught you anything. At 12! Yes! Elsewhere around the world, mums are helping their young daughters prepare for high school. But the Indian mother, she’s equipped with every phrase in the book to tell you why you should learn how to cook, drape a sari, learn all the mantras, do all the prayers and stay out of the sun.
All through secondary and junior high school, you’re being groomed for marriage. But come high school and campus, you are not allowed to talk to the boys, hang out with any boys or even look at the boys. So you’re prepared and you know everything you need to know to impress a boy, his mother and every woman in his neighbourhood, but you’re not allowed to find a boy. Some or other Indian aunty related to some or other connection already has someone in mind.
Reject this supposedly nice boy and you will be immediately whisked off to see the temple uncle who will inevitably tell you that you have garah and must fast saltless for nine Saturdays.
Once all that’s done and there’s still no sign of improvement in the situation, the assumptions and worry gets worse.
Everywhere you go, people try to arrange someone for you. Everywhere you go people want to know why you aren’t getting married. After all, all the other girls your age are getting married.
And once you succumb to them [which is what happens eventually] they move on to the next unsuspecting victim. [NOTE: There’s always an unsuspecting victim, if one is not on hand immediately, one will be found].
Indian aunties have been churned out that way for years. Scary thing is, more than 50 percent of us eventually become one of them. Everything that you hated about ‘the old Indian aunty’ sooner or later can be seen in you. The way you walk, talk and think.
The transition happens so seamlessly nobody has time to notice or change it. Like it or not, most of us will become the ‘old Indian aunty’.